Being superficily nice

I dont know what happens to me..
I do not understand my feelins...
some times I do not understand my reactions..
sometimes I get mad at life..
some times I get mad on people..
some times I get mad on me...
I feel like it is not posible to open your hurt to the people..
I feel like people is not trustable
I see bad things on people
I do not feel integrate
I feel that I do not fet..
I feel like not fighting any more, it is not worthy to get mad
I feel like I do not want to see the bad things in life,
I feel like I just want to take the goodones...
I am looking for someone who cuddings me,
I do feel like receiving affection..
I feel like closing myself, and been just nice...
not going further.. just "interact" without going deeper...
I just feel like being superficialy nice...